Safe Haven - Prologue - The Writings of Karyn E. Knight

Safe Haven - Prologue

7/22/2008

5 Comments

Post what you thought about this prologue here.

5 Comments

Erica Drake

7/22/2008 05:21:42 am

this was a very good story I liked it alot

Karyn Knight

7/22/2008 05:22:53 am

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

Chelsea link

7/26/2008 11:58:18 am

See! I told you...Safe Haven is your best work out of all your stories...DO NOT QUIT!!!!!

Stephanie link

9/29/2008 09:28:48 am

This is really enjoyable, and fun to read. I think it's really impressive that this little snippet is enough for the reader to really care about the characters, and it can almost stand alone as a short story. I think there might be a few minor changes you could make to the first couple of paragraphs, just to make it flow a bit better. I think that you would almost be better off splitting the first sentence into several, "Jennifer Sweet stepped off the shuttle" would be a good first line on its own.
Maybe you should take a bit more time in introducing the backstory, like instead of just stateing immediately she lived on Vega 5, maybe bring it up later on?
Take these suggestions with a grain of salt, though, the story is great as is, and I don't always know what I'm talking about.
Your dialogue is really believeable,

Stephanie link

9/29/2008 09:30:51 am

(sorry, I hit submit before I was finished)
and I you did a great job making characters' personalities obvious in the way they spoke.
Awesome story!

The Writings of Karyn E. Knight

Safe Haven - Prologue

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